So here is my plan. I am going to steal all $11,000 to $13,000 in untraceable cash mostly twenties.
How?
I am going to take all of the money out of the safe in the office after we close on Sunday.
How sure are you of the take?
Saturday night is the concert down in the Jazz Hole. J Dog Riley will be performing. His show received great buzz last time he was in town and we expect to turn people away at the door. Translation, the cover charge and bar receipts of $4,500 from his last visit will be even higher, expect $5,500. Also, Friday night at the bowling alley on the fourth floor will be busy. It is the third weekend in January, it is cold, snowy and there is little else to do. We can expect $2000 from Friday’s bowling alley, bar and mini golf takes. We can expect another $2500 to $3200 on Saturday and $1500-$1800 on Sunday. These are all conservative estimates based on historical trends.
How do you get in?
I will slip a piece of duct tape on the latch to the door that goes to the balcony. The four story balcony is a forgotten hole in the security of the structure. The only way in is through the back of the building where everything is decaying and people are afraid of the wild animals and possible hobos. I park my car behind the old hardware store and walk 400 yards to the back of the structure, pop open the outside door to the balcony with a crowbar and climb the stairs up to the fourth floor, where I push open the exterior door that I have rigged with duct tape.
What about the alarms?
The back of the building has no alarms. The alarm is on the front door.
How do you get to the office?
From the balcony door to the office there are no locks on any doors.
How do you get IN the office?
It is a standard office door. I have a key, but I will use the crowbar to pop the door open.
Why not use the key?
Because then suspicion would land on people who have keys. Even though I stole my key from the cabinet and do not officially have one, they would look first at keyholders, then at people who had access to the office during working hours who could have taken the spare key.
Why have the key if you do not need it?
Because the crowbar might not work. I can unlock the door, then when I am done I can put the key back and then damage the door enough to look like that was how I got in the office.
How do you get in the safe?
I know the combination. It was never given to me. I put mirrors in three places on the desks in there so I could turn my back while the safe was being opened and see what the combination was.
Does the combination work?
Yes, I have tested it.
If using a key would put suspicion on employees, what makes the safe different?
The door lock has been changed, the safe has been there for 45 years, and the combination has remained the same. The suspicion is then passed to the 100-125 people who have had the combination over the last half century.
How do you transport the money?
There are old, left behind bowling bags against the wall, I use one of those.
How do you get out?
The same way I got in. Out the back, down the stairs, across the parking lot to my car and home.
There are flaws.
I know, that’s why I am talking to you. Help me.
Where do you get the crow bar?
It belongs to the bowling alley. It has been laying outside, in the snow, for last few weeks, I saw it last night when taking the trash to the dumpster.
Fingerprints?
I work here, my prints are supposed to be everywhere, except the safe, I have gloves for that.
What kind of gloves?
Work gloves from the back, I will grab them after I come in the door.
No, bring latex gloves. Work gloves make it look like it is a current employee, it narrows the focus to the current generation.
Thank you.
You said it is snowy, what about footprints and tire tracks?
It is a well travelled pathway by the vagrants and day workers in the area. It is a beaten path. For tire tracks, there is a business that uses the parking lot on weekday mornings. My tracks will fade away before the police are called, and long before the investigation spirals out to the old hardware building.
What about your wet feet tracking in on the carpet in the office?
I have a pair of rental shoes by the back door I will change into so my tracks will be dry.
You have huge feet, that will narrow it down.
The shoes I hid are 3 sizes too small, I took the laces out so I can squeeze in. After I get done I will put the shoes back where they have been for three months.
Are you afraid the police will find them?
No, there are eleven pairs of shoes hidden back there, all with laces missing, made to seem like teenagers are messing around hiding stuff.
What time will you go in?
2:00 or 2:15 am. We open on Monday at 8am, and close at 11:30pm on Sunday.
How long will it take?
Fifteen to twenty minutes.
What will you do with the money?
Nothing.
Nothing?
Nothing. I will hide it until August.
All of it?
Most of it. I will keep $300 out to cover any expenses that may be incurred if the bowling alley is closed down for investigation and I cant work.
Why August?
I will be moving to go to Norfolk for college. I will take the money with me then.
Where will you hide it?
Not at home, not in the car, no matter how flawless I think it went, they may have a shred of evidence to lead them my way. If they come looking, I can’t have them find anything.
Then where?
At my grandmas, in her basement in a filing cabinet. In the bottom drawer is a lockbox that has a bunch of my toys in it. When I was young and I went over there and was done playing, I put all my toys in a big lockbox. I have the only key. I always told grandma I didn’t want “the bad man” to get my toys.
And the toys?
I moved them out of the box a while ago and put them in a cardboard box, also in the basement.
She won’t notice you coming over?
No, I have a key to her place, to let her dog out when she is out of town. She will be at work at 8:30. I will head over at about 9 am Monday morning and drop off the money.
What will you do with the money in August?
I will bring it with me, in one of my bowling bags. When I arrive I will hide it in my apartment, in a fire safe, in a different bowling bag, in the bottom of my closet. From there I will use the money to pay for my day to day living. While money I earn at the bowling alley in Norfolk will be used to pay off a car loan and student loans for college.
How much will the car loan be?
Five thousand, I’m getting a nice car, well, nicer than what I have now.
And the student loans?
Six thousand, for two years.
So, to sum up. You plan on stealing $11,000 to $13,000 next weekend. Aside from a small stipend in case of work shortage, it will sit in a box for seven months. After that you will take the money to Norfolk, where you will use it as rent, food and day to day spending money. Your paycheck will go towards a car loan, and upon graduation, student loans.
Yes, that sums it up nicely.
Why?
What?
Why commit the crime?
So I can breathe.
Pardon?
So I can breathe.
So you can breathe?
Yes, I just need a cushion so I am not constantly one step from poverty.
You are not in poverty.
Only because I am a burden to those around me, I am tired of it.
Why this robbery?
Because I can. I have been planning and laying groundwork for over a year. This is the perfect time. The effort will be maximized.
What did they do to deserve this?
Who?
The owners of the building, Mandy and Charlie?
Nothing.
Then why here? Why them?
Because I can do it here. I cant do it anywhere else.
So it is a crime of convenience?
Yes.
Is there a risk that the loss will put the business under?
No.
Are you sure?
No.
Then why?
Because it is my only chance.
Are you ready?
Yes.
Are you READY?
…yes …?
Are you sure?
No.
Then we are ready.
—- shuts off the bathroom light and walks away from the mirror —-
